Fortunately I’ve bought it for the PC, which makes it immediately better. However, since Microsoft is run by a team of idiots that’s large enough to inhabit the moon, they had to bring their own brand of cocking it up to the table. They had to bring in the “Game(s) for Windows - Live” malarkey. Honestly Microsoft, why do you have to take a good idea and turn it into a device of Satan. The “Windows - Live” part of this game actually screws up one of the most important bits, the main menu. A game should not crash on the main menu, it should crash when there’s a bit too much happening at once, not while it’s just sitting there.This is one of few complaints I have about GoW but it’s probably the biggest. I really hate it when Microsoft do things like this, why can’t they do it like everyone else and just have simple accounts with simple server lists, it makes so much more sense.

Anyway, I should really get to talking about the game rather than about the idiots who published it.

In GoW you play a character called Marcus Fenix who’s been slung in the joint because he disobeyed orders at the beginning of the war against the Locust (who are surprisingly humanoid). Thankfully you’re broken out of jail by your good buddy Dominic Santiago and are quickly pressed back into military service. You’re mission for the first half of the game is to deploy a device called “The Resonator” which will map all the underground Locust tunnels. The objectives in the second half of the game are a little fuzzy and the story seems to meander around for several levels which is a bit disappointing. Of course, you probably didn’t buy/ weren’t thinking of buying this game for the story, you just saw a guy in armour and a gun with a chainsaw on the end of it and there you were, at the counter with the game in one hand, thirty quid in the other and a happy little smile on your face.

The gameplay in GoW is actually pretty refreshing, even now. The third-person perspective was a great idea and so was the interactive cover. You can hide behind practically anything in this game, and you actually properly hide. One quick push of the Space Bar and Marcus is up against a wall like a cheap hooker, though without the lady parts. A little thing that bugs me about the whole “One button to rule them all” thing is that if you’re “Roadie Running” (sprinting) and you pass too close to a bit of cover, Marcus will suddenly stick to it and you’ll either have to waste precious seconds getting him off or be killed by something large and ugly. Like most action games, Gears of War also contains a shitty vehicle section which can get pretty infuriating when you play it on your own and it’s almost as bad when you’re with a friend but it’s only one level so it doesn’t spoil the game too much.

Unfortunately I seem to be running out of things to say about this game. I guess it’s because I last edited it on June 4th, it’s now June 13th 0_o Oh well, lets talk about whether I enjoyed this game or not. Truth be told I did enjoy it but at only 18 to 20 hours of gameplay it’s a little on the short side, especially if you play it solid for a couple of days. The multiplayer isn’t as fun as it could have been with a pitifully small amount of servers with most of them being spawn-camp-tastic. There really needed to be larger multiplayer modes with a focus on more players, you really need more of everything in the multiplayer for it to become interesting. The Co-op campaign, which can be played online or offline is a fun aspect though as it means you can kick ass and take names with a buddy rather than just playing with yourself. The A.I. isn’t exactly smart so bringing along a friend is a better way to play the game and you can always chat or have little competitions like “Who can stick the most grenades” which can end in hilarity.

Overall, a good game with a weak story but fun gameplay. Also, be prepared to get pissed off by the Windows Live part of things, if you can survive that then you’ll probably do alright in the game. Buy it, if only to tide you over till a release your really looking forward to.

P.M.

So, what about the gameplay. It’s repetitive and un-imaginative. You have to collect “Thermal Energy” to stop yourself from freezing to death. This “Thermal Energy” is obtained from killing enemies, there’s no explanation as to why the enemies drop these glowing orange blobs, they just do. That was my first beef with this game. It’s really very easy to kill everything, far too easy in fact and you actually end up with an excess of “Thermal Energy” meaning you can dither about for as long as you like before moving on. I thought this was supposed to be “Extreme Condition(s)” not “Average Conditions”. You can only carry two guns but you only ever need one, the machine gun, because there’s so much ammo either lying about or on the disappearing corpses of your enemies that running out never becomes a problem.

Upon starting up the demo I immediately checked out the controls, only to find that they were displayed as Xbox 360 controls. Hello CAPCOM, I’m playing this demo on a PC, console controls are useless to me. The least they could have done was change the controls screen so that it actually showed keyboard controls rather than things like “Right Trigger = Fire”. MY KEYBOARD HAS NO “Right Trigger”!!! It was then that I threw caution to the wind and set about picking one of two levels.

My first impression was “Oh dear” as I moved the character around in a clunky and boring fashion. The animations aren’t brilliant, neither is the AI and the environments felt dull with their un-inspired graphics. In fact, the whole demo was just 375MB of dreary mediocrity. Thankfully STEAM has the option to “Remove all local content.” Which I quickly did upon finishing the demo. Well, when I say “finishing” I actually mean getting so frustrated at the stupidity of the game overall I gave up.

The worst part is that it could have been good. Great even. If only CAPCOM hadn’t made stupid decisions and employed simpletons to design and make the game. Here’s what I think they should have done. Instead of “Thermal Energy” being dropped from enemies, they should have put things like burning barrels in certain places so that you had to stay near them to warm up before you could move on. The enemies should have been harder rather than the push-overs that most of them are. There really needed to be more imagination in the design stages. Then again, this is CAPCOM and they’re aren’t known for their brilliant imagination (see; Resident Evil, Devil May Cry, Street Fighter).

PC Gamer threw an 81/100 at this game, I’m not sure how they came to that conclusion but after all, they are the “Frat Boys” of the PC gaming demographic so a proper review wasn’t really to be expected. My advice, don’t buy this game unless you’re looking to be bored or annoyed out of your skull. It’s weak attempts at being good are over-shadowed by the fact it’s a total let down. Spend your money on something better. Like Gears of War.

3/10 = Pitiful.

P.M.